Our Protagonist and Sidekick This Week

Much delayed and then only done in a half-assed way as friends played my PS3, I move on to story 2 for A's class:

I waunts dat Kusstard.


I waunts dat Kusstard.


Is dat flán? Bet you didn't think Li'l Willy Boy kud diskwiminate difwent kinds of Kusstard, didja? Akchooly, my nose is about a thowsand, ah, huh huh, about ten thowsand times stwonger than uh human bean's. Yeppers.

I can smell the sheep in my master's wool coat. Mmm, and salty highlands over the ocean in the old moors of Scotland. Mmmm. Tasty. I think I could eat a sheep. Maybe I could tell a sheep what to do! Hah, huh, huh. But I think I pwefurr Kusstard. Yup, yup, yup.  Master, will you give me some kusstard? Master? Master?

I will rub my little warm body against your pants. Mmm. Are these jeans? I tink jeans usually kums in da color 'blue,' but I'm not so good at colors. Nope, nope, my beady wittle eyes were not designed to separate blue and green and red and such like. No, nope, nope, nosirree. Huh huh huh. Yip! yip!

What is go-ed on right now? Oh! Is dat flán? Li'l Willy Boy likes Kusstard. It's right up there on the table, isn't it. Willy is wittle, and he cannot see that high. But his nose knose what is there. Flán is a traditional MecksiCan Kusstard, made with a Kone of dark sugar called 'piloncillo.' I can smell da little factory in MecksiCo where dat comes from. The Master there was sweaty. And the floor smelt like poop. But that's okay, I will still eat some. If you offer me some. Master, will you offer me one? Master? Master? Oooh, Master. I know dat is flán. It has dat silky Karamel sauce drizzled over the crispy top, doesn't it?

Is it cut into wittle circles? Good presentation!

Master! It's made with fresh eggs that will make my furr shine. Will you offer me some? Pwease! Huhuhuhuhuh. Yip! yip!

Master, Kwit payin attention to dat Lady. What is that thing in her hand? It keeps fwashin' bwight lights at me. I dunnot like it. Yip! Go away, you! Are you why Master decided to dress up tonight, with his Banana RepubliK red plaid shirt? And also his wool coat, da one I like to smell.

R you why he made dee apartment so nice tonight? Cleanin' up n' such? You know the wud floor is not usually polished and shiny. Kause I messes it. I Kan't helps it, but my footses brings in da' snow and da mud. Mmrm. Mrm, mrm, mrm. I Kannot help it. But it's messy! Probably you won't like it later! Usually the chair over there is covered in his stuff. And it has stains. Yep, yep. Yip.

Why you keep taking pickchers? I think you shuld leave me and Master alone. I think you should go. Yip, yip. Master does not need a pretty lady in a black dress to make him clean up the whole apartment and sweep up all my hair and make me take a bath and make him make flán but never give me any. Yip! Go away, you introduce uncertainty and fear! I do not like you! No! Yip, yip! Yip! yip! yip yip yip yip!

 *     *     *

"I'm so sorry, Jessica, I don't know what got into him. Usually he likes my guests. Maybe if I just shut him up in the bedroom..."

"No, Wilson, really....uh, I should be going. But thank you for that wonderful dinner. So exotic. I mean, southwestern eggrolls? And the flán..."

"Oh, but you've hardly touched yours. Here, I'll pack it up for you."

"It really looks as if Willy would rather have it."

"Are you sure? Well, okay.